THE INANE RAMBLINGS FROM UP NORFF
‘NOWT SO QUEER AS YORKSHIRE FOLK’
BY KAREN BROWNE
The Views Expressed Are Solely My Own, Are Written Tongue In Cheek
And Should Be Taken With A Pinch Of Salt
It was the turn of that other FA Competition, The Buildabase FA Vase, to take the spotlight on Saturday and for the competing clubs a more realistic chance to grace the hallowed Wembley turf. For one club, Unite MK of Division Two, it was a first time entry in the competition, however it was a debut they will want to forget as they were soundly thrashed 0-10 by Premier Division side Leverstock Green. This was the second time in the club’s history they had conceded double figures, Olney Town putting 13 past them in a Buckinghamshire Senior Charity Cup fixture back in January 2017. Saturday also saw the start of the U25 Development Division.
The first Saturday in September brought about a goal fest with the 37 games producing 175 goals (an average of 4.72 per game). Leverstock Green topping the charts with 10 (their 10-0 win was a club record in the FA Vase), it was the club’s biggest win since they put 9 past Brimsdown Rovers in a Division One fixture back in September 2001. Another club to achieve a FA Vase record was Enfield Borough with a 6-0 win over Halstead Town. Five other clubs hit 7 as the goal nets bulged. Tring Corinthians AFC recorded their first win since their 3-2 success at The 61FC (Luton) on the 6th January 2018 when they toppled the much fancied New Bradwell St Peter FC in Milton Keynes. Albie Hall (Pitstone & Ivinghoe) led the way in the individual goal-scoring charts netting five times while Jonathan Lacey (Leverstock Green) found the target 4 times and Kai Bowers (FC Broxbourne Borough) and Shaun Stevens (Berkhamsted Development) recorded hat-tricks.
1 September Stats: 37 games played of which 24 were home wins, 11 were away wins and 2 draws (both goalless).
100% league record to date: Wodson Park, Berkhamsted Development, Buckingham Athletic Development, Holmer Green Development U25, Kempston Rovers Development and Leighton Town Development.
0% league records to date: Clean Slate, Stotfold, Wembley, AFC Dunstable U21, Ampthill Town Development, Biggleswade United U23, Harpenden Town Development and Stotfold U25.
Highest Attendances: 122 Tring Athletic v Leighton Town, 92 Biggleswade FC v North Greenford United FC and 66 Baldock Town v Long Melford.
SATURDAY 1st SEPTEMBER
THE BUILDABASE FA VASE First Round Qualifying
The day’s shocks came at Broadfields United (Step 6) defeating Daventry Town (Step 5 and previously unbeaten), Cricklewood Wanderers (Step 7) beating Risborough Rangers (Step 6), FC Deportivo Galicia (Step 6) beating London Tigers (Step 5) and Langford (Step 6) knocking out Tower Hamlets (Step 5). Plenty of drama at Rushden & Higham United where visiting Winslow United progressed 5-4 after extra time. Stotfold and Wembley were obviously glad of a break from league football, both clubs having lost all five league games to date enjoyed cup success against Wadham Lodge and AFC Hayes respectively. The three all SSML ties each saw the Premier Division team come out on top although in the case of London Colney and Cockfosters it was an all Premier Division affair. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
1-2 AFC Hayes v Wembley (Unknown) / (Unknown) Attendance: 34
1-3 Ampthill Town v Edgware Town (Higgins) / (Pett, James, Mooney) Attendance: 47
2-1 Baldock Town v Long Melford (Barnes, Holland) / (Chaves) Attendance: 66
1-3 British Airways v Harefield United (Unknown) / (Willis, Farhall, Harewood) Attendance: Unknown
5-0 Broadfields United v Daventry Town (Mfinda , Kimona, Gardner, Taylor) Attendance: Unknown
4-3 Cricklewood Wanderers v Risborough Rangers (Unknown) / (Daly, Clark, Wylie) Attendance: Unknown
6-0 Enfield Borough v Halstead Town (Unknown) Attendance: Unknown
3-2 FC Deportivo Galicia v London Tigers (Wlmoumi , Zobair) / (Unknown) Attendance: Unknown
5-1 Hanworth Villa v Bedford (Navara , Ocansey , Darko) / (McGrath) Attendance: 38
3-2 Langford v Tower Hamlets (Smith, Worbey, Todd) / (Mtyanda, Unknown) Attendance: 42
10-0 Leverstock Green v Unite MK (Lacey , Carbon , Witham , Nair, Yearwood) Attendance: 37
2-1 London Colney v Cockfosters (Griffin, Price) / (Unknown) Attendance: 49
4-5* Rushden & Higham United v Winslow United (Dyson , Kalla) / (Hussey, Parsons, Bowers, Opponent Own Goal, Dalton) Attendance: Unknown
4-0 Stotfold v Wadham Lodge (Da Silva , Amoako, Unknown) Attendance: 34
5-2 Whitton United v Hatfield Town (Unknown, Unknown, Cole, Unknown, Unknown) / (O’Brien, Gray) Attendance: 55
LEAGUE CHALLENGE TROPHY First Round
Potton United avoided a potential cup upset at Aston Clinton, running out 4-0 winners in the end while the all Division Two tie saw Pitstone & Ivinghoe book a Second Round home tie with Premier Division Baldock Town following a 7-2 thumping of Clean Slate. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
0-4 Aston Clinton v Potton United (Ansell-Carter , Bamford, Smail) Attendance: 25
7-2 Pitstone & Ivinghoe v Clean Slate (Hall , Elliott, Denton) / (Unknown) Attendance: 32
Tring Athletic went second in the table as they put Leighton Town to the sword at The Grass Roots Stadium, a blistering start saw Athletic four up inside the opening 19 minutes. The 7-1 win was their best result since beating Stony Stratford Town 9-0 in the League Challenge Trophy back in September 2014 while for Leighton Town it was their heaviest defeat since returning to the SSML. The morning’s table toppers Oxhey Jets suffered a 0-3 defeat at Hadley where the home side overcame the loss of their goalkeeper Luke Ward with a head injury. Replacing the Jets at the summit are Biggleswade FC who saw off the spirited challenge of league newbies North Greenford United 4-0, the visitors task was never going to be easy when they had Ben Long sent off after thirty minutes. Elsewhere Colney Heath won 2-1 at Crawley Green while Harpenden Town and Arlesey Town played out a goalless draw at Rothamsted Park. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
4-0 Biggleswade FC v North Greenford United FC (R Inskip, A Marsh, L Marsh, Leavers) Attendance: 92
1-2 Crawley Green v Colney Heath (Pemberton) / (Newton, Clarke-Mardel) Attendance: 42
3-0 Hadley v Oxhey Jets (Buraimoh, Camara, Idemudia) Attendance: 46
0-0 Harpenden Town v Arlesey Town Attendance: 47
7-1 Tring Athletic v Leighton Town (Campbell , Goward , Turner, Twelves, Read) / (Bryant) Attendance: 122
FC Broxbourne Borough moved to within two points of league leaders Enfield Borough with a 7-0 demolition of Codicote, a defeat that sent Codicote to the bottom of the table, these two clubs certainly like to keep the crowd happy as the corresponding fixture last season saw Codicote edge home by the odd goal in nine. Life continues to be hard for promoted Park View, a 2-3 home defeat by Rayners Lane sees the club still looking for their first win in Division One. Another club still winless, London Lions, picked up a point from their away-day at Buckingham Athletic. Wodson Park remain the only club in the top three Divisions with a 100% record as they ended the 100% record of Hillingdon Borough with a 4-1 home win. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
0-0 Buckingham Athletic v London Lions Attendance: 50
0-3 Buckingham Town v Brimsdown (Unknown) Attendance: 27
7-0 FC Broxbourne Borough v Codicote (Bowers , Pile, Brandon, Ramejkis, Wells) Attendance: 40
2-3 Park View v Rayners Lane (Williams, Agyemang) / (Unknown, Unknown, McKay) Attendance: 15
4-1 Wodson Park v Hillingdon Borough (Halls , Todd ) / (Greenidge) Attendance: 34
Bovingdon remain top following a 7-1 win at Grendon Rangers, a result that stretched their lead to six points. Highly fancied Totternhoe suffered a 0-3 reverse at Mursley United, a result that leaves the two clubs third and fourth respectively. The 61FC (Luton) suffered their third straight loss when going down 0-3 at league newcomers Sarratt. Full results and goalscorers (where known) listed below.
3-1 Berkhamsted Raiders v MK Gallacticos (Unknown) / (Unknown) Attendance: 20
1-7 Grendon Rangers v Bovingdon (Unknown) / (Dodd , Standen  [1 pen], Canham, Eames, Wilson) Attendance: 42
3-0 Mursley United v Totternhoe (Simpson , MacAnaspie) Attendance: 49
0-2 New Bradwell St Peter FC v Tring Corinthians AFC (Unknown, Weeks) Attendance: 29
3-0 Sarratt v The 61FC (Luton) (Unknown) Attendance: 30
UNDER 25 DEVELOPMENT DIVISION
Defending champions AFC Dunstable U21 suffered their first league defeat since the opening day last season when going down 2-3 at Leighton Town Development. League newcomers Kempston Rovers began life with a 4-0 home success over last season’s runners-up Harpenden Town Development. Elsewhere there were wins for Berkhamsted Development, Buckingham Athletic Development and Holmer Green Development U25. Full results and goalscorers (where known) listed below.
7-1 Berkhamsted Development v Ampthill Town Development (Stevens , Lee, Mitchell-Gears, Parrott, Stonell) / (Unknown) Attendance: Unknown
0-4 Biggleswade United U23 v Buckingham Athletic Development (Brady, Carter, O’Hara, Summers) Attendance: Unknown
2-0 Holmer Green Development U25 v Stotfold U25 (Unknown) Attendance: Unknown
4-0 Kempston Rovers Development v Harpenden Town Development (Bakogeorge , Barrett, Ashley) Attendance: Unknown
3-2 Leighton Town Development v AFC Dunstable U21 (Unknown) / (Troughton-Smith, Nottage) Attendance: Unknown
When Royton Town turned up at Stockport Georgians for their Manchester Premier League match on Saturday, they told their hosts they were short of players and were drafting in the 43-year-old father of one of their regulars. What they didn’t say was the dad in question was former Manchester United and England midfielder Paul Scholes. Now the 11th tier of English football (Step 7) is not the place you’d expect to see one of the Premier League’s greatest players, but Scholes laced up his boots after a call from Royton manager Mark Howard. “We had eight or nine of our senior players missing and Paul said he’d be happy to help out if we were ever short as his son Arron plays for us,” said Howard. Despite the presence of their highly decorated interloper, Royton – who are fourth in the table – lost 1-0.