THE INANE RAMBLINGS FROM UP NORFF
‘NOWT SO QUEER AS YORKSHIRE FOLK’
BY KAREN BROWNE
The Views Expressed Are Solely My Own, Are Written Tongue In Cheek
And Should Be Taken With A Pinch Of Salt
Midweek saw a mix of league fixtures and numerous cup competitions taking centre stage. In the league Leighton Town broke their duck with a first three points haul while there were impressive wins for Arlesey Town, Unite MK and London Lions. In the various cup competitions Milton Keynes Robins, North Greenford United and Potton United were amongst the goals as they progressed.
TUESDAY 15th OCTOBER/WEDNESDAY 16th OCTOBER
15/16 October Stats: 14 games played of which 7 were home wins, 5 were away wins and 2 draws.
Highest Midweek Attendances: 115 Leighton Town v Leverstock Green, 108 Dunstable Town v Arlesey Town and 86 Langford v Stotfold.
Total Sin-Bins Season to Date (92):
THE BUILDBASE FA VASE First Round Proper Replay
Biggleswade United suffered their heaviest FA Vase defeat as they exited this season’s competition when losing 1-5 at Saffron Walden Town in Tuesday’s night replay at Catons Lane. Full result and goalscorers are listed below.
5-1 Saffron Walden Town v Biggleswade United (Adams , Cockman, Cole, Scarborough) / (Chambers) Attendance: 209
Leighton Town finally discovered their cup form to record their first Premier Division win of the season, Town defeating visiting Leverstock Green 5-2 to move out of the bottom two of the table with Danny Webb helping himself to four goals. There were plenty of goals in the night’s other fixture as Arlesey Town won comfortably 4-0 at Dunstable Town. Full results and goalscorers are listed below.
0-4 Dunstable Town v Arlesey Town (Moss, Thake, Black [pen], Makaza) Attendance: 108
5-2 Leighton Town v Leverstock Green (Webb  [1 pen], Pattie) / (Stevens [pen], Cox) Attendance: 115
DUDLEY LATHAM MEMORIAL (PREMIER DIVISION) CUP First Round
(Sponsored by S & T Sales and Marketing)
Wembley booked a trip to Leighton Town on the 5th November in the Dudley Latham Memorial (Premier Division) Cup with a solid 3-1 win at London Colney. Full result and goalscorers are listed below.
1-3 London Colney v Wembley (Octave) / (Heron, Ebonine, Iley) Attendance: 35
BEDS SENIOR CUP First Round
Crawley Green pulled off a shock as they booked a quarter-final place in the Beds Senior Cup at the expense of last season’s Premier Division champions Biggleswade FC. Green winning the tie 3-2 on penalties after a 1-1 draw. Full result and goalscorers are listed below.
1-1 [2-3 pens] Biggleswade FC v Crawley Green (Joy) / (Holmes) Attendance: 75
HINCHINGBROOKE CUP First Round
Potton United overcame United Counties League side Huntingdon Town 4-1 at the Hutchinson Hollow in the Hinchingbrooke Cup and thus setting up a quarter-final tie at Wisbech St Marys or Godmanchster Rovers. Full result and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
4-1 Potton United v Huntingdon Town (Nzembela , Slama  [1 pen]) / (Unknown) Attendance: 62
MIDDLESEX SENIOR CHALLENGE CUP First Round
Overall not a good night for SSML clubs in the First Round of the Middlesex Senior Challenge Cup. Harefield United went down 0-3 at home against Hanwell Town while Edgware Town were outplayed at Wingate & Finchley, the hosts winning 6-0. The only good news came at Berkeley Fields where North Greenford United won 4-2 against visiting Enfield FC. Full results and goalscorers are listed below.
0-3 Harefield United v Hanwell Town (Killeen, Hutchinson, Duncan) Attendance: 45
4-2 North Greenford United v Enfield FC (Young, Barnett, Glock, Adu) / (Buchanan, Jones) Attendance: 52
6-0 Wingate & Finchley v Edgware Town (McKeown , Ruff, Fleming, Michael-Percil [pen], Kennedy) Attendance: 52
Enfield Borough’s hopes of moving into the top three were thwarted with a heavy defeat at London Lions on Wednesday night, the hosts winning 5-1. Twenty four hours earlier London Tigers and Buckingham Athletic battled out a 1-1 draw at Spratleys Meadow. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
1-1 London Tigers v Buckingham Athletic (Unknown) / (Cruse) Attendance: 2
5-1 London Lions v Enfield Borough (Bolle , Kyte , Cohen) / (Unknown) Attendance: 46
DIVISION ONE CUP First Round
Current form team Milton Keynes Robins can do no wrong at present, following on from Saturday’s excellent win at Hadley in the FA Vase the Buckinghamshire side won 6-0 at FC Broxbourne Borough in the Division One Cup to book a date with either Winslow United or Wodson Park in the next round. Stotfold came from 1-2 down at the interval to record a 4-2 success at neighbours Langford to book a Second Round date at Ampthill Town. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.
0-6 FC Broxbourne Borough v Milton Keynes Robins (Spence  [1 pen], Sylvester , Clarkson) Attendance: 22
2-4 Langford v Stotfold (Unknown [pen], Unknown) / (Robertson , Ryan, Buchanan) Attendance: 86
Unite MK recorded back to back wins with a 3-0 home success against Mursley United on Wednesday night. The result lifts the club out of the bottom two. Full result and goalscorers are listed below.
3-0 Unite MK v Mursley United (Rawson , Opponent Own Goal) Attendance: 42
Who Would Be A Ball-Boy?
It’s so high that in winter it becomes a ski run and so remote that the pre-match journey has to be done by two cable cars. It’s remarkable the Ottmar Hitzfeld Stadium even exists at all. The pitch is perched 2,000 metres above sea level, surrounded by peaks twice that high, in the Swiss Alps close to the resort of Zermatt. FC Gspon are an amateur team who play in the Swiss Mountain League and they proudly call their home ground the highest football stadium in Europe. The village of Gspon – inaccessible by road – is made up of around 70 wooden chalets and in winter becomes a small ski resort. The air is thin and breathing can be more difficult than at your usual football ground. The artificial pitch, smaller than your standard size because of the unsurprising lack of flat land, was built in 2009, 35 years after the club was formed. The reasons for wanting to play here are clear, but it is not without its downsides. A large net spans one side of the pitch and while it stops the ball disappearing down the mountainside most of the time, accidents can happen. The estimation is the club has lost 1,000 balls in 40 years. “Most of the time the balls travel about 100 metres down the hill – sometimes they’re 200 or 300 metres further down,” says defender Alfons Brigger. From October onwards the pitch is covered by thick snow – that is until the worst kind of pre-season training begins in late spring. “We have to clear the pitch because up here it doesn’t melt so good,” Brigger says. “We have to put it all to the side of the pitch. That is the players’ job. “Normally there is half a metre on the pitch and we have to get it all off. It is really annoying and hard work.” Crowds at FC Gspon games range from as low as three or four in extreme weather to 40 or 50 in the height of summer, with spectators coming from Gspon or Staldenried, the larger, more developed village at the start of the five-minute cable ride below.